i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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