we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize