i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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