It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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