on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
