she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My cat gives me a boner
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Randomize
