I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
