took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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