Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
