Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
