i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
