doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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