Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
