dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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