Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
