You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
