The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
two words: eviction party
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
