you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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