All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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