I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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