Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
