Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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