marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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