Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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