3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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