I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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