you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
