I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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