"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
