I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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