I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
