DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
