I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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