Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
