I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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