i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
