My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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