To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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