you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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