I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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