Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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