She said her name was "party"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
