why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
