Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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