we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
