Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
