What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
