someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
