the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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