She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
