Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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